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Oct 4, 2011

Fair Warning

My engagement to be married is now over - complete with closure and all possessions returned to the proper parties.
I state this clearly because my former fiance would often be upset when I would broadcast my feelings in my blog, specifically if they could be reverse-engineered back to her by anyone who knew us personally. Despite that I take great care not to reveal names or give specific details whenever it would be inappropriate, she still despised that someone might misconstrue something I said and blame her for my condition.
I'd like to believe and still hold fast that this is a silly notion of hers. After all, anyone who knew us that well would probably already know the details more intimately than described in my writings. However, even stating this is pushing the boundaries of what I think is proper etiquette, but it's a necessary evil to make my point. This blog is where I vent and share my experiences and try to garner a grander perspective to find the life-lesson by my exposure. I hope that my memoirs will provide enlightenment to others but also to my future self.
While I promise to always tell my tale with respect to others' privacy, I will not deny my right to share who I am with whomever chooses to read my words. Yes, I will be polite and further acknowledge that my view is only one of many ways to understand whatever events I describe. However, whenever a significant turn of my life happens, the most effective form of self-improvement I have is to take inventory, retell the tale, meditate, share, consider my missteps and reflect upon the larger point in the universal scheme of things. It is what I do...with the proper decorum, of course. Understand this is not a cheap shot to bad mouth someone but rather my method of self-analysis.
So, for any who hold unwavering loyalty to my former partner, you may wish to drop my blog or unsubscribe the RSS feed for the next few weeks, as it is highly likely a few future posts will contain respectfully-told stories about my emotional state and response to the break-up and the events surrounding it. Don't consider yourself an outcast or voted off the island. But I ask you recognize in yourself the level of restraint and dignity you possess as you read and comment - because this event cannot be summarized as something less than significant and I will have reactions to post. Hopefully, I will learn some lessons along the way as well. I might even explain the Def Leppard reference in my comment on the previous post while simultaneously connecting a Hindu principle with comic books.


  1. Sorry to hear about this, Dj. I never met your former fiance, but you two seemed happy together in the pictures I saw. The issue of the blog seems like a complicated one. I would have little problem with Lisa blogging about her feelings in theory, for example - but would be very wary of giving the world a window into our private life; so I guess I understand your former fiance's point as well. In any case, I hope that you are doing alright (and that she is too). Don't hesitate to call if you need to chat.

  2. We are you friend DJ. You should feel free to discuss any issues in your life! I'm sorry your relationship was not what you expected and deserved!


  3. Writing is the best form of therapy there is. If your friends can't take your emotion, then they're not your friends. Let this be a time of healing. I pray you'll get to the place where you are thankful for the relationship even if it didn't last. It's only through experiences like these that we are molded into the best we can be. It's up to us to turn our pain into gain :)