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Jan 27, 2013

Wearing the suit...

My boss and I were discussing résumés last week and telling tales of blunders we knew. So I did a quick search and found some very funny faux pas others have made. The list made me laugh, so I’ve decided to share.
Oh, for the record these are quoted from other websites, so none of the persons in the list are related or associated to me, even if the items says my whomever. Finally, I am looking forward to comments. This shold spawn some good stories; we all know at least one!
1. “An applicant ghosted a headshot as the background to her resume”
2. Other Interests: “Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the dogs more than my wife)”.
3. “One applicant used colored paper and drew glitter designs around the border”
4. Hobbies: “getting drunk everynight down by the water, playing my guitar and smoking pot”
5. Why Interested in Position: “to keep my parole officer from putting back me in jail”
6. A woman had attached a picture of herself in a mini mouse costume
7. Candidate explained a gap in employment by saying it was because he was getting over the death of his cat for three months.
8. Under “job related skills” – for a web designer – “can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet”.
9. My sister-in-law misspelled the word “proofreading” in her skill set.
10. The objective on one recent resume I received stated that the applicant wished to pursue a challenging account executive position with our rival firm.
11. Objective: “career on the Information Supper Highway”
12. Experience: “Stalking, shipping & receiving”
13. “I am great with the pubic.”
14. A candidate listed her e-mail address as pornstardelight@*****.com
15. The applicant listed her name as Alice in the resume but wrote Alyce on the onsite application.
16. One candidate’s electronic resume included links to her homepage, where the pictures were of her in the nude.
17. “…sent out my resume on the back side of a draft of a cover letter to another firm…”
18. “My duties included cleaning the restrooms and seating the customers.”
19. One applicant for a nursing position noted that she didn’t like dealing with blood or needles.
20. Achievements: “Nominated for prom queen”
21. I once received a resume with a head and shoulders picture in the top left of the first page. The picture was of a lion’s head, wearing a coat, shirt, and tie.
22. Application: How large was the department you worked in with your last company? Answer: “3 stories.”
23. One resume that came across my desk stated how the individual had won a contest for building toothpick bridges in middle school.
24. Resume: “I have a lifetime’s worth of technical expertise (I wasn’t born – my mother simply chose ‘eject child’ from the special menu.”
25. Candidate included a letter from his mother.
26. A resume listed a skill as “being bi-lingual in three languages”
27. Background: “28 dog years of experience in sales (four human).”
28. Qualifications: “Twin sister has accounting degree.”
29. “Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
30. References: “Bill, Tom, Eric. But I don’t know their phone numbers.”

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