There have been a few people I’ve known who base their morality on happiness and convenience. We’ve all seen the long lines at the checkout and commented, “That’s just wrong!” However, we all likely know one or two rare birds who really find this unjust in their minds and believe something should be done to correct it or compensate them because of it. For them it’s not just venting in jape.
Sometimes I even use these few personal examples I know to treat myself to some Jerry Springer therapy. That’s when we look at someone worse off and feel better about ourselves. The irony of the treatment is it allows us to laugh at the person trying to clear the 20-foot chasm because they only jumped five feet before plummeting – all the while, we too fell, only having made it six.
But I’ve recently reminded myself that dark humor and irony is funny – even when it’s about me…perhaps even more so when it’s about me. So this morning’s confession is that I’ve been on both sides of the coin recently. I’ve looked down upon another because I’ve measured my failure less destructive than someone else’ failure…only to discover I’m Charlie Sheen yelling “Winning” in hopes that everyone will believe me.
On the flip side, I’ve found myself angry over petty items from the break-up. At times I have twisted my thinking so these trifling issues somehow become about right-and-wrong or damaged character. But the truth is these things are just the MacGuffin in this script, although in my case it’s not an item to possess rather a point to justify.
The thing about MacGuffins is the whole story gets wrapped around it but yet the fixation itself becomes otherwise completely inconsequential to the plot. And that’s what I’m discovering about my silly mania. When I calm myself, truly consider what it is, I’m just mad because of nuisance – but there is no right or wrong, no morality, no universal flaw about these replayed events in my head.
What would be a universal flaw is allow myself to continue in this thinking. Time will make a difference of course, but time only simmers an attitude. If I persist with my personal justification of blame, then time will allow this bile to fester within me. It is important that I fill myself with serenity over these events. Then the slow-cooking of time allows me to blossom and grow from experience.